Day 1 - Year Zero. Come Break Me Down?

Hey there! 

Introductions. I'm Clair and I'm from the UK! That's pretty much all you need to know for the moment. 

This blog is the result of me challenging myself to do something I thought I'd never do. Essentially I'm a pretty private person so putting my thoughts out on the internet is akin to auditioning in front of Simon Cowell. 

Then why, I hear you ask, am I doing it? Seeing as you asked so politely, I'll tell you. 

Life is not going so great at the moment. I'm off work with that old fashioned 21st century disease of 'work related stress and anxiety'. Turns out there's a lot of people in this boat with me.  

So this blog is not just about me pouring out some random stream of consciousness, it's a record of me taking back some control and doing what I can to make myself feel better. 

Yes, meds and counselling are part of that but that's just standard boring stuff. 

I will not at any point be revealing deepest, darkest, most traumatic moments. That shit is private and you don't want to read about that anyway, do you? Talk about a downer! No, the focus is on the stuff that makes you FEEL GOOD! 

Doesn't matter how small or how big these things are. Doesn't matter if people mock you for them.  Celebrate them for what they are, tiny pieces of joy. 

Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. Abraham Lincoln

Smart guy. 

So the things that you will mostly be hearing about are: (in no particular order) 

My family and friends, who will remain anonymous unless permission is obtained.
My cat Sophie, endlessly entertaining and about the most human feline I've ever met.
Books... lots and lots of books.
Movies.
Music. Especially a band called 30 Seconds To Mars. I got gig tickets for a small show on the 16th of November and I am way too overexcited already! And maybe some Robbie Williams. Love that man. But generally all manner of music. 

And so on and so forth. 

For the record, this is an experiment to see whether or not I can commit to making life better for myself. It's a big deal to me. I haven't felt truly happy for a long while now and dammit if I'm not going to fight to get it back! 

Hence the title of this post being Day 1. New starts and baby steps.

Today I went for a walk. Exciting huh?!! It was a truly beautiful day here. Breezy but warm. I made sure to take time and appreciate the trees blowing in the wind and the people I passed. I smiled and said hi. They smiled back. :)

Then when I got back I sat outside with Sophie, the human cat, for a while. She seemed to appreciate it as much as I did, nudging me when she wanted cuddles and generally looking like a happy kitty. Just being still and appreciating the sun on my skin was a tonic. 

This is a photo I just took of Sophie as she is on my lap while I'm trying to type. Not easy, but she seems to want to be close to me all the time at the moment which I take as being her way of being supportive. 

 To be honest it really doesn't do her justice as she's a very pretty kitty. :) 

Day 1 is going well thus far. Looking forward to watching Robbie on the X Factor later (love that show!) and generally chilling. 

During the ad breaks I will be re-reading Dead As A Doornail by Charlaine Harris. Fantastic series of books. These are the books that the TV show True Blood are based on and are a great read. 

Music for today - Kings and Queens by 30 Seconds To Mars. Very rarely off my stereo at the moment. It's not been released yet but you can listen at the 30STM website. It's a big uplifting tune. Love it. 

So that's it for now. We'll see how tomorrow goes. Or I might get bored and post more later. Who knows?! 

Laters!